Christmas is not what it used to be. As I was buying up a selection of Amazon and i-Tunes gift vouchers to give to family and friends, it struck me that these gifts don’t actually exist. At least not in the physical sense. Given virtually there’s not even a card to sign, stick and send. Which got me wondering what it leaves for the elves to do?
The Elf of Christmas Present
I read your letter to my boss Santa.
He passed it on after scanning your list
for anything special, or specialist.
Scrawled or unsigned, spoilt or unlined,
with my M.Sc. in calligraphy
handwritten lists don’t worry me.
I worked through your letter beginning “Dear Santa.”
(They almost always begin with this
and then they turn into a shopping list.)
To be very candid, you could try and craft it
a haiku or tweet would be enough
to be different from ‘Just give me stuff!’
Your likes and your wants? They’re different these days;
the new ways of living and modern technology
brought widescale redundancy in the toy factory.
We elves won’t go viral, have no truck with Pay Pal
we don’t make your books since the rise of the Kindle
we once made your music but that’s gone to Apple.
Barbie, Monopoly, Twilight the Trilogy
just can’t compete with the Fire from Amazon
a Red Letter Day, or your magazine subscription.
E-bay may yet take us out of recession
but till then please keep toys and games on your wish list
or I’ll soon be gone from the run up to Christmas.
