This poem is a comment on teens and technology. It is dedicated to all parents who wonder if they should attempt to lure the teen gamer out of their darkened comfort zone while they still recognise each other.
Hi there. Can you hear me? It’s me Mum!
I’ve come. To have a proper chat.
Some face time. With you. Just us two.
I’ve cleaned the screen specially. Like that.
If you find it weird, talking like this,
don’t fret, you’ll soon forget you’re online.
I tweet when I’m eating, snap chat in my sleep,
If I don’t have my tech, I can’t unwind.
For your profile. Look, why don’t I mail it?
My gift to you, when we wrap up this chat.
A friendly face increases engagement,
a bit like a wink. I think. So what’s app?
D’ya geddit? D’ya read it on Redditt?
Do you reckon I’ve grown? I had a go
at cutting my hair, I think it’s cool.
and gazillion others think it’s hot. Not!
Did anyone tell you the teenage brain
contains more megabites, and this is fact,
than when you were my age, (if you ever were…?)
I’m telling you, we’ve got those neurons cracked.
We load quick these days, and don’t shut down;
we just hibernate till it’s time to kick off.
You know what Mum? I like telling you stuff.
It’s been so mad here I sort of forgot.
My blog is really picking up traffic.
Quite a few people are coming for a read.
I’ve two thousand friends on Facebook you know,
and it’s kinda the same on my Instagram feed.
Not so many watch my YouTube channel
Yet! I guess I need to put some work in there.
Been checking out memes and using tags
for more subscribers and to increase shares.
Did you know my sunsets through the window
are super popular, get loads of retweets.
I’m obsessed with analytics now
Up here it’s ok to be a geek!
I still think about you guys. Every day.
And remember my life. The one before.
Downstairs. It helps to know I was preloved
When I’m feeling lonely, poorly or bored.
We could be friends and see each other more.
And you should answer comments. Make the time.
I almost always do. It’s rude not to.
Community is so important online.
After I’ve caught up with the pre-school crowd
I have a teeny moment when I’m free.
We could maybe meet, after checking our tweets?
Hang out together? Well not literally!
Let’s diary it then, maybe weekly?
Did you know I hooked up with someone new?
impressed her with my skills and double kills
then ha! I killed her too. Like ya do.
Just leaving some love on your latest post.
Your days out together look so much fun.
I ‘like’ them and would love to come along.
But man, my ‘to do’ list is never done.
Ever played Fifa? Got that ball straight in.
I left some likes on your instavideos.
Did you even realise it was me?
I change my tag as often as my clothes;
it’s important and you should do the same.
I dunno why. Ask the PewDiePie?
But he’d never ever reply to you.
He is really massive online, that guy.
Can I give you a little tip, just quick?
You really should improve your SEO.
When I google you, you’re not even page one.
It makes it hard to catch your news. I know
I could come to dinner but then again
I don’t often feel hungry any more
My stomach always seems to churn
With the worry of keeping up my scores.
What you up to for the rest of the day?
I’m crazy busy this end building more
of those pony tree fairies. Minecraft stuff.
My underwater pearls are awesome sauce.
Must make some more. Great to see you again.
A real life catch up. Didn’t it fly?
Now I must get back to my fans and friends,
but Mum, can you please tell Dad I said hi?